I Am Not Very Good at Warhammer 40,000: 'Ard Boyz 2011 Debriefing

This guy sucks at Warhammer 40,000.

This last weekend I had the privilege and the pleasure of playing in the 'Ard Boyz tournament at Crazy Squirrel games in Fresno. I don't get in as many 40k games as I would like, so when I do make the time to wage tabletop war I am rather particular about where and with whom I play. Tournaments can be a gamble in this regard. Unless you're a regular on the scene (which I am not) you can never be sure what your match-up will bring. Not in terms of the army or the list, as I don't care about either, but I want my opponents to be decent humans that know how to be civil and pleasant. I don't have any time to waste playing the uncouth boors.

Suffice to say that each game I played at the tournament was a blast. I met many awesome players, I encountered zero asshats, and I had a fantastic time getting thoroughly trounced. The store is a joy to play in and I look forward to going back to Crazy Squirrel for more tournament action.

Mission Debriefing: I won't spend time describing the individual scenarios or objectives, as they can all be found here. My 'Ard Boyz army list can be found here and an outline of my (failed) strategy can be found here.

Mission 1: Git that dirty git !
Opponent: Tyranids
Results: Massacred

"Uh, Shas'o ? There's alot of fraking bugs down there..."

Mission 1: What the hell happened ? Nerves. Slow playing sucks, so I played as fast I could. Too fast.

I once sat across from some slack-jawed Chaos player who stood there hem-hawing, staring at the board, and even assembly his units at the table. It was a boring, awful game. I never want to be accused of "slow-playing", especially since I am still mastering the rules. Unfortunately, I was a over-compensating and moved too fast- without remembering the key mission parameters, obtaining important scoring objectives, or choosing critical targets. I must learn to balance Mont'ka and Kauyon. My opponent, despite the massive number of bugs on the table, moved the game along nicely.


Lesson: Don't move so quickly that you fail to meet mission objectives or choose important targets.


Mission 2:Whoz got da Motz !
Opponent: Tau
Results: Massacred 

Mission 2: What the hell happened ?

Inability to sustain the offensive. Letting transports make a late-game objective grab. 

Coolest model of the day: Roy Fokker's Veritech

Early in the game I was making some definite gains. Eliminating enemy targets, grabbing enemy held objectives, and moving to take the remaining ones. However, my opponent used his transports for a late stage push, resting his Devilfish right on top of the objectives. I had no way to move them off in time. Simply put, I was outmaneuvered. 

Lesson: Be prepared for transports and other units sitting on top of objectives. Plan for late-game objective grabbing and be prepared to make a counter attack push.

Mission 3:Head of the Snake !
Opponent: Space Marines
Results: Massacred 


Mission 3: What the hell happened ?

Do not land on top of drop-pods. They hurt.

I was hitting my stride by the third game, making better choices and holding my own against the odds. Once again, however, later game decisions shifted the balance to my opponent. Also, terrible luck. A deep-strike mishap caused one of my rather expensive HQ choices to land right on top of a Space Marine drop-pod, losing the entire team in one fell swoop of lousy dice rolls. That team might have made a serious difference since its nearly identical counterpart HQ was holding out against full tac-squads and enemy HQ veterans, whittling them down each turn. My fusion blaster equipped Crisis Suits nuked an enemy Land Raider and my Kroot were raising hell against a squad of terminators, killing all but one in a flanking assault. Nevertheless, I wasn't able to hold out against an assault I didn't think was in range and my single Shas'o quickly fell to a Space Marine named-HQ choice.


Lesson: Deep-strike mishaps can really suck. Losing an expensive HQ sucks. Putting too many points and relying too heavily on too few units to get the job done sucks. Not staying out of assault range sucks.

Flanking Kroot FTW.

'Ard Boyz MVP: Kroot. I love Kroot. Troop choices that can flank, mass in groups of 20, rapid-fire S4 guns and have 3 attacks on the charge. When they took down a group of storm-shielded terminators I was sold. In future games, I will keep my objectives to the sides of the board so I can keep the enemy to the edges and assault their flank. I generally only field one team of 6 Fire Warriors because I have too. The rest of the slots will be filled with my favorite cannibal mercenaries. 

Kroot: I sing your praises.

MVP Runner-Up: Pathfinders. Those marker lights rock. They will become a permanent fixture in upcoming army lists. I did make a mistake by putting 8 Pathfinders in a single team. In hindsight I should have changed up my list and only put 4 in a team. I only needed a few marker lights on a single target to make a difference. 8 was overkill. 

These Kroot were soon eaten by bugs, but they learned from their mistakes.

It's better to spread around the marker light love than put it all in one place.

The next best thing to being lit is lighting up someone else. With marker-lights, that is.

Furiously calculating my score...

It's better than 0....